Ruth’s breathing becomes increasingly torturous and rattling. David clasps her hand tightly, looking anywhere but the white face, the half-closed vacant eyes. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to grow up, get married, have children. She was supposed to die old, at home, surrounded by family. Instead she was wasting away in a freezing forest with just him. Him and a load of half starved half humans.
He suddenly felt her hand start to slip away from his.
‘Ruth? Ruth!’
Of course she didn’t respond. David stood up quickly and stumbled away. A couple of the women were standing nearby but they didn’t approach him.
‘Just as well really,’ he heard someone say. He turned slowly.
‘What?’
The man, a gruff, large man, looked abashed but held his ground. ‘You must be relieved. Sad, I know, but relieved.’
David couldn’t speak.
‘This isn’t a sustainable life for someone as weak as her.’
‘It’s not a sustainable life for any of us.’
‘You know what I mean. We can’t afford any dependants. This is survival.’
David found his voice. ‘That’s a fucking Nazi policy.’
‘I’m not saying kill the weak.’ The man was growing angry. ‘I’m not saying that at all. Another life, take care of her all you like. I don’t want the world to be this way. But it is.’
David felt his stomach churn into his throat. He wanted to scream in his face. He wanted to hit him. Instead he strode away into the forest as far and as fast as he could. The silence closed around him and he knew that the man was right. He was relieved.
Daily Writings 